I'm Boycotting Resolutions This Year
Eden has been a thumbsucker since she arrived in this world. It’s been her go-to habit for self-soothing and is always accompanied by twirling her hair with her other hand, often resulting in the beginning of a dreadlock. Thank God she has curly hair so you can’t see her uneven haircuts! We recently decided it was time to wean her off of this addiction and that has been quite the wild ride!
Years ago, I read a book about how our kids will be our greatest teachers and mirror all the things we need to work on in ourselves. As I've been observing Eden figure out how to break her old habit of self-soothing with a new and better-serving habit, I can’t help but to see myself in this moment. You see, I have also been in the process of breaking some old habits that not only don’t serve me anymore, but aren't going to help me achieve my dreams. And I've noticed that when I practice those better-serving habits, I also get to experience those all-too-familiar buzzy feel-good feelings of self-growth that only come from practicing a new and better-serving habit.
Just a few weeks ago, Eden literally three-nager raged at me like a teenager. She was screaming at me “Go away, Mommy!,” as she recognized she could get away with sucking her thumb if I didn’t see her. At first I wondered if this was practice for a future teenager-rager. And then I wondered if that experience could look differently in 10 years if I gave her a better experience today. So, I held her tight, let her know that I loved her, told her I was so proud of her for not sucking her thumb, and let her scream and rage at me until she calmed down and finally fell asleep. And, we started “anew" again the next day.
I’ve felt all of those emotions so many times over the last several years as I’ve also worked really hard to turn habits that are no longer serving me into new and much better-serving habits. I’ve wanted to scream and rage and cry, and then I’ve started ‘anew’ again the next day, and the next day and the next day and so on. Days after Eden's rager, I could sense her pride as she struggled (minus the rage) to put herself to sleep without sucking her thumb. And I wondered, yet again, if those feelings of pride I sensed from Eden would eventually become those all-too-familiar buzzy feel-good feelings of self-growth.
And so with the start of this new year, I’m boycotting resolutions this year! Instead, I’m going all-in on practicing new and better-serving habits this year and giving myself space and permission to start “anew” every damn day.
So, here’s to making our dreams come true one habit at a time, one three-nager rager at a time, and one buzzy feeling of self-growth at a time. It’s worth it. EVERY! DAMN! TIME!
